Baking

I had a scone for breakfast today.  A freshly baked scone.  I got up twenty minutes late but I still was able to pop a batch of scones in the oven and have one to eat on the way to work.  This is because I baked refrigerated scones from a cardboard tube.  I am vacillating between feeling quite clever and feeling like a fraud.

I buy baked goods with some regularity if I’m not feeling too austere because I love baked goods and breakfast goodies in particular.  Yesterday while at the store I compared prices and realized that buying and baking the scones was cheaper and as it is finally cool here in the mornings (still far too hot all day) I bought some to bake this morning.  Somehow however I feel like a poser making scones from a cardboard tube when I don’t just buying them outright.

I like baking.  I like baking scones amongst other things.  I don’t like cleaning up after baking I admit and I sometimes begrudge the amount of time it takes – usually after the fact.  I will proudly present muffins to my husband only to have him say, “It’s eleven o’clock at night.  It’s a bit late for muffins don’t you think?”  My pride then falters a bit as I realize my evening has vanished and although I do have muffins to show for it I had other things planned as well.

Creating

I recently had a coaching session with Cat Caracelo and she said something that really changed the way I am approaching my days and hopefully this blog.  She told me that my act of creation starts now.

I love collecting information that I hope to read through and utilize "someday."  I have a studio that could use an organizational system or five.  I haven't gotten any of my writing published in years.  I have a tendency to think "Once I stop accumulating information and either utilize or discard what I have..." "Once my studio looks like something from 'Where Women Create'..." "Once I send something out to be published..." then I will be a real author, crafter, artist, creative.  I will be creating then whereas now I am just preparing to create.

Of course it's just changing the story I tell myself but that sort of change makes a difference.  I realized lots of blogs detail people learning to create, hammering out ideas, testing themselves.  I don't need to wait until I am "polished" before I share.

Yesterday as I biked home from work down a boulevard of gorgeous homes I smiled to myself.  My husband and I may have an apartment now, but I can enjoy the beauty of those homes and I can enjoy our vintage apartment, stifling as it is come summertime.  This is the now I am in and it is where the future is being created so I will try to value this time whatever it brings, appreciate the act of creation whether that's making dinner or making art, and strive to remember that even the beginning of things can be beautiful.